We are definitely amidst crazy times during this pandemic! I was going to try to write something very positive on this page, because I’m sure we all need it right now! The truth is I am feeling very gray at the moment, and writing something completely positive just wouldn’t be my truth. I definitely have had some amazing days during the pandemic and that’s not to be overlooked, things are just weighing a little heavy on me right now! I would be lying if I didn’t say that I am absolutely furious about working in a restaurant during these times. My emotions right now make me question if I am actually certifiable insane yet (lol, mostly kidding here). SInce the pandemic started, being a waitress has been really stressful and hard. Normally I absolutely love my job and I truly do enjoy being a waitress; that’s why I’ve worked at the restaurant I’m at for 8 ½ years! But right now when we are open we see a lot less customers and being a student that pays for school out of pocket well that is not fun news. The worst part is when we are shut down we do carry outs; which means its a skeleton crew where everyone is fighting for shits. The worst part is I absolutely HATE carry outs. Before covid days when someone would call to place a carry out before the drive through person got there I would actually visualize myself smashing the phone with a sledgehammer; just to put things into perspective. I try to maintain a good attitude because I am grateful that I have a job and can still make money, but sometimes when people pull up to that window and don’t tip I feel daggers shooting out of my eyeballs and want to yell “I get paid $3 an hour”, but of course I don’t do that. Instead I just continue to be nice and smile. Despite some bad ones we have had the most amazing customers that come in and tip us really big which is the silver lining and truly means more than anyone could realize! Overall I have really good days and really bad days! Today was definitely a bad day! Carry outs were absolutely non stop insane, which is the best because money is good. I just can’t help but feel we’re not designed to be that busy at a carry out window. A zillion orders coming through one phone while there’s a line of cars and people trying to place an order at the window; none of it is smooth or natural. Bagging orders is way harder than serving, if you forget something you are screwed, and you have to individually put everything you think that person might need in each bag while not getting the 100 orders that are stacking up confused; plus trying to find time to go make salads and all the extra stuff. Moral of the story is I had an actual mental breakdown at work today. I acted as if I was 3 years old when I felt brain dead from being swamped all day, mixed with a little bit of lack of sleep. When my coworker was joking around talking while I was breaking apart overwhelmed I just walked out the back door. I cried a little and came back in. I am extremely embarrassed about how I acted to be honest and I only share this next part at the hopes that someone will at least laugh because it’s that ridiculous: I put my backpack (filled with schoolwork) on and said “I QUIT AND I’M NEVER COMING BACK HERE” then immediately took it off and acted as if nothing happened. I don’t know what sane person would do that! All I can say is tomorrow is a new day and all I can do is better right? I’m going to work on my emotions and not let them take a hold of me so much. This has all just been a big lesson; that’s how I’m choosing to look at it. After all if I’m going to be a nurse one day I’m going to have to do better, and deal with a lot more stress. So maybe this pandemic stress will just end up being the best teacher.