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I lived in two different places during both huge waves of COVID. The first was in northern Michigan and then we moved to the Lansing area right before the second lockdown. It felt sort of numbing and surreal to live somewhere for almost a year and only really know the route to work, the grocery store, and home. Work was my only social life, and school was online. It became this sort of feelingless routine. I saw so many people use the time for realization, to develop new hobbies, and reinvent themselves. I worked throughout the entire time and maybe just hearing one opinion after another, and how careless so many people were just disheartened me.

 

I developed a case of COVID fatigue. I was tired of the opinions on masks, tired of opinions on vaccines, tired of politics, and tired of how easy it is for anyone to look on google to find some website that catered to their own beliefs. I was just completely tired of all of it. I think at that moment is when a light just went off in my brain. Our governor passed the Future Frontliners program, and it made me really think about going back to school. I was unhappy with where I worked and how I’m just going to continue having these check-to-check jobs. Unless I work a lot of years to hopefully be paid more, or after half my lifetime to eventually move up, I was never going to get any further than I am now. It was enough. I guess like so many others, I reached my realization period.

 

So here I am. Now finishing my second semester of school in my mid 30’s. It is definitely a lot harder especially since I graduated high school in 2004, but I’m trying. I’m trying REALLY hard. But I am sick of the situation I’ve been in for so long, and this pandemic opened my eyes to it. For the first time, I’m living my life for myself and putting me first! It feels good to publicly write that. Maybe no one will read this, or maybe someone in my same position will. Look it is going to be hard. I can’t tell you how many times I cried because I just couldn’t figure something out in class or out of mere exhaustion. How 4 hours of sleep is the most I get, or how I’ve finally made a few friends at work but had to pass up plans to study. But it goes by fast. I can’t believe this semester is done. It is going to pay off. Nothing worth having comes easy. You’ve got this.